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DiehardRob

DiehardRob's Official Funny Joke Thread

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Why is it that blind people don't skydive ? It scares the ***** out of the dog.

3 nuns died and went to heaven Saint Peter informed them that in order to pass into heaven they had to answer one question. he asked the first one who were the first two people God put on Earth ? she replied Adam and Eve.He replied very good and a bolt of lightning struck the pearly gates and in she went. the second he asked where did Adam and Eve live ? she replied in the Garden of Eden. He then replied very good and a bolt of lightning struck the pearly gates and in she went.the last one he asked were the first words Eve said to Adam ? she replied Wow that's a hard one he replied very good and a bolt of lightning struck the pearly gates and in she went.

What do you call two virgins and a prostitute on a football field ? two tight ends and a wide reciever.

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Do you know what happened 159 years ago this fall... back in 1850?

 

 

Cali.JPG[/attachment:2m74ve4h]

 

 

California became a state

The people had no electricity.

The state had no money.

Almost everyone spoke Spanish.

There were gunfights in the streets.

 

So basically nothing has changed except the women had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands.

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Do you know what happened 159 years ago this fall... back in 1850?

 

 

Cali.JPG[/attachment:1rx6vism]

 

 

California became a state

The people had no electricity.

The state had no money.

Almost everyone spoke Spanish.

There were gunfights in the streets.

 

So basically nothing has changed except the women had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands.

 

 

i <3 cali... :( gotta represent

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get the **** out."

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get the **** out."

 

ROFLMAO... it takes a minute but then get hilarious quick.

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A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OW!

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What's brown and sticky?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A stick!

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How do fish get high?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sea Weed!

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a bowling ball ? you can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.

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Boudreaux vs. the Indians:

 

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Cajun are captured by a fierce tribe of Indians. The chief walks up to them and says, "I have bad news and good news. The bad news is you all will die, and we will use your skin to make canoes. The good news is you can choose the way you die."

The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." When given the poison the Frenchman shouts, "Viva la France!" and drinks it down.

The Englishman says, "A pistol for me." When given the pistol the Englishman put the gun to his head and shouts, "God save the Queen!"

and shoots himself.

Boudreaux asks for a fork. Puzzled, the chief hands him a fork, and Boudreaux starts stabbing himself all over his body, his stomach, his sides, his chest, everywhere. The blood gushes out all over, the chief is appalled and screams, "What are you doing?"

Boudreaux looks at the chief and says, "So much for your canoe T-boy!"

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